It has already been a week since the semester just ended. I have been waiting the whole week for the release of my final grades. I was feeling a little excited, and anxious at the same time, hoping to get the grades I expected, which I knew I deserve.
For the past two days, our school’s online site have been dropping hints about our professors encoding our final grades already. However, we still couldn’t see them until this Saturday. For the subjects you are/will be taking, it has three basic statuses: ‘N’ (Not Yet Taken), ‘C’ (Currently Taking), and ‘P’ (Passed). For the current semester, all subjects are under the status ‘C’ throughout the sem. But for the past two days, the statuses of some subjects are changing from ‘C’ to ‘P’, which gives students the idea that their professors have already uploaded their grades and have passed the subject. Still, we couldn’t see our grades.
Once all the ‘C’s of the subjects changed to ‘P’s, the semestral average would appear. The lowest possible grade would be 0.00 while the highest would be 4.00. If your semestral average reaches 3.35, you become an honor student. I still remember how grade conscious I was back in high school, even until now. For the past semester, I didn’t reach this 3.35 mark. And when I saw my average this sem, I felt disappointed to see that I was 0.1 mark short in reaching this 3.35. Once again, I feel devastated about this. It made me sad deep inside, but I didn’t show it to anyone. I keep showing my ‘always happy face’.
I meditated for a while, thinking what were the wrong things I have done for the semester. Throughout this mediation, I first thought that it was my subjects and professors that was the problem. These were some of the petty things I would rant about. But I thought deeper. I went back to the start of the semester. I remembered that I was always feeling motivated to reach the 3.00 mark (my average last semester was less than 3.00). I never had this goal of being an honor student back in the previous sem, same goes for the start of this sem, that is until it all changed one day. I’m a CS Major but then I got the feel of Math, and that is why I wanted to double major in it (not shift, I loved CS). That’s when it hit me, to double major. I talked to the department chairs and said that if I wanted to double major, I need to take extra Math subjects for the next two semesters. I’m already full load by the next semesters and I still need to add additional subjects, so I had to overload them. But before I could overload, I needed to be an honor student. That’s when I decided I need to become an honor student for this semester so that I could easily overload subjects. The semester was rigorous, hard. But when I saw my average, I felt disappointed that I’m not an honor student this semester. But does this change the fact that I’ll pursue a double major? Well, NO!
I’ll continue my fight to be able to pursue this degree. I know I can do this. Good thing there will be load revision forms I could use to overload my subjects. But the fact I still wasn’t an honor student, crushed me. However, I still won’t give up on this degree.
Looking at the bright side, I think that my prayers were still answered. Before the sem started, I wished for an average of at least 3.00. And I got my wish, 3.25 ain’t bad. It’s even greater than 3.00! I’m happy for my accomplishment. I even felt more motivated to strive harder the next semester. This is I guess what is more important than being an honor student. I know I will still get my chance. I just have to work harder. I don’t have the right to rant as of the moment. I have to be grateful. God is good.
Date of Post: 03.28.14